I'm getting tired and the feelings come out...

I'm in love with a guy who is scared of long distance. I have never felt these same feelings for someone. I am more confident about this than any past relationship. Do I doubt his feelings about me? No! I know they are there, but they are getting lost in the distance. I want to fight really hard, but I want it to be reciprocated. I don't want to talk on the phone, I want to be together talking, in person, but I want to do what we have to do in order to make it work. I sometimes question if our foundation is strong enough since everything happened so quickly, I think about this and I think about that....but, I know it only makes me worry and overthink. And I KNOW overthinking is never good.

Basically, I was pursued for over a year by this great guy who I failed to make much notice of or give much credit to. When I stopped and realized him for who he was I fell, and I fell hard. For so long it was him all about me, then we were on the same page and it was wonderful, and now the distance has made it more me all about him. It sucks. Yes, reality is a bitch. But it's reality and we have to deal with it. Sometimes I want to grab his shoulders and shake him while I say, "Hey, it's okay. I love you. I would do anything for you. So take this leap with me." I want to take the chance, but I want him to want to take the chance with me. I am never super confident about things, but I am confident in this. I feel the emotions (which I usually hide and ignore), I have laid it all out there, and this is me, my feelings, and I don't know what else to say or do.

I can't make up his mind for him. I don't want to pry, but I can't go on with knowing he can't get over his fear. His wall is there and its a thick one. I want to wait, I want to take chances, but I don't know where to begin or for his sake end...

This isn't meant to be depressing, but it is how it is! I'm trying to get better about sharing my feelings and I felt like writing...this is reality, so I'm dealing with it.