...I wish I had so much exciting and happy things to update on, but not so much luck! Honestly, life has been hard. I feel like I am at one of the toughest spots I have ever been at. I am currently searching for happiness I guess you could say.
...Nursing school has for sure taken it out on me! I never understood what I was signing up for, which I guess is a good thing cause I would have never gone through with it. Ha. I am not so sure if I like it...but think I will begin to once it is all over or so that is the hope. I'm ready for summer more so than I ever have been before! I am getting into the third round of tests and end of semester projects and then finals begin! After all of that finishes, it is summer time!!! Summer officially begins on May 11th at 11am! (but who is counting!)
...I guess some exciting news regarding nursing school...I started my first IV on the first try (hand shaking like crazy and sweating through my scrubs, but hey I did it!) and I have now successfully inserted 2 foley catheters! Definitely some milestones for me, a baby nurse!
...I am waiting for a interview with Camp Longhorn to work for the summer to get school credit. I will only work about 2-3 weeks, get paid, and get college credit! Sounds great, huh? Well, there are not many spots available so, I am praying to get one of them.
...I am trying to finalize what/where I am going to be for the summer! My options are...stay in Dallas, work as a tech, but don't really have place to stay, move to Waco, work as a tech, stay with the rents one last time, or go to Austin, end the long distance with Will for a summer, and work as a tech. The last option was the most ideal, but I am a little hesitant and unsure.
...I feel like my 24 year old body is 80 years old. I feel like I have problem after problem these lasts few years. I have had migraines, respiratory problems, recurrent sinus infections, and endless amounts of GI issues!!!! Ahh, who would have thought this would be happening at 24?!? Not me!! I figured out the respiratory issues after several tests and 4 doctors! I have really bad GERD which causes shortness of breath, and asthma, but the asthma isn't bad. Next the migraines I think are stressed induced, but I think they are finding their way back into my daily schedule. The GI issues, well, I have seen improvement with the new GERD medicine and I now have some other medicine I take PRN! So, all that has seemed to improve! Another issue is the sinus infections...I think I have had a sinus infection for about 2 years now that hasn't gone away! I am planning on getting it checked out and go from there....
...I have just been so down lately and felt so alone. It is a hard thing to think about and admit to myself. It's sad really. I want happiness. I feel lost and I want to get back on the right track and be myself again. Today I went by myself to a park to read for class. I didn't even take my book out of the car. I just walked around, watch the birds, looked at the green grass, trees, couples biking, and the families taking family outings. It was relaxing and brought tears to my eyes. I enjoyed feeling God around me. Something I want more of and need back in my life. I am trying to get that today! Tonight I am going to church with my friend, Melanie. I'm excited, I'm nervous, I'm ready.
...Depsite all that I am feeling I am thankful for my problems. I realized this more so last week working at Parkland and dealing with my patient's problems. My problems are nothing compared to what some of these people deal with on a daily basis. I take care of people and leave my shift thinking I couldn't imagine being in there shoes! I know God is good, I know I have a purpose and he will guide me in the right direction. Staying faithful and patient is the hard part.
...With all this said...I'm not trying to throw a pity party for myself or post a depressing blog...I am loosing my pride and asking for prayer. I am hurting and want to be myself again.
PHIL 4:13
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